Alienated Mothers and Mother's Day

The birds are chirping, the flowers are blooming, spring has arrived, and with that comes Mother’s Day. This holiday brings to mind children making cards for their mothers to attest to their love for her and dads taking the kids shopping for that special something to show mom how much they care and appreciate her. However, Mother’s Day can be a stark reminder for many mothers that suffer from their child being alienated from them. This day is just another painful memory of what once was and what has been taken away. For a mother, I think that there is a lot of shame brought on by societal views when a mom isn’t in a child’s life coupled with the trauma of the loss of seeing a child. Many suffer in silence because of the shame and fear of judgment from others because she is not the main caregiver for her children. However, what many people on the outside don’t see is that mothers living apart from their children is not always caused by something they did or didn’t do. Just like fathers who are alienated from their children because of the mother, mothers are often alienated because of the actions of a father.

Maybe you aren’t completely alienated from your children, yet, but something doesn’t feel quite right. If you are experiencing any of these signs, you may be alienated from your children very soon. If any of these sound familiar, seek legal counsel immediately to avoid total parental alienation.

• Your child begins making weak and absurd rationalizations against you. This type of claim usually comes in the form of, “You’re the reason for the divorce” or unsubstantiated claims placing all of the blame squarely on your shoulders.
• Your child has no remorse for treating you poorly or ignoring you. This is a very strong indication that someone is coaching the child to eventually alienate you. This is a tactic used by many because the child is being told its okay to treat you poorly because that is what you deserve. In essence, they are being brainwashed to believe something that isn’t true.
• The father is supported by the child no matter what. Children that are being coerced into alienating a mother completely align themselves with the father regardless of the situation.
• When questioned, the child insists he or she is acting on their own accord. Parents that encourage alienation are brilliant manipulators at making a child believe they are acting independently in their own thoughts and words.
• Your child no longer wants to be around you nor stay with you for no reason at all. Long before the in-person visits stop, this often begins with fewer phone calls, texts, invites to school or sporting events. Be aware if you notice any of these things beginning to happen, they may soon lead to complete alienation.
• In addition, to paying attention to your child’s behavior, pay close attention to the father’s action. Alienation often begins with the father and his actions such as buying the child unnecessary items like toys, electronics, cars. They also suddenly begin taking the child on vacation and/or giving them special privileges when the child is with him.

If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. I always say mothers truly do have that special motherly instinct and I always recommend that they don’t ignore that instinct.

I would like to wish every mother and especially those mothers suffering from alienation from their children a happy Mother’s Day. You are appreciated and your grief is understood. If you are suffering from parental alienation, give Kevin Hickey Law Partners a call to schedule a consultation to begin the process of re-establishing a relationship with your child or stop total alienation. We will never judge you or your situation. What we will do is fight for you. Our River Valley office number is 479.434.2414 and our Northwest Arkansas number is 479.802.6560. To learn more about my firm sign up for updates and more stories like yours and check out my video series Saturday Morning Coffee with Counsel.