So You're Getting Divorced

So You're Getting Divorced

2021 may be the year you decide to make a fresh start, or the decision to divorce may have been made a few months ago. If you haven’t told your friends and family, however, the looming conversation could cause anxiety. Here are a few ways to manage giving difficult news and the reactions that could follow.

Name It

If you can sit down with your partner to let your village know about your decision, this can help. It shows a unified front, even in division. Decide what kind of divorce you are experiencing and what you know so far. People will ask questions, and your divorce does affect everyone in the community you built as a couple. That doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries, but call it what it is, give it parameters, and this will add some security to the both of you and help those around you begin to process what this means for them.

2021 may be the year you decide to make a fresh start, or the decision to divorce may have been made a few months ago. If you haven’t told your friends and family, however, the looming conversation could cause anxiety. Here are a few ways to manage giving difficult news and the reactions that could follow.

Understand It

You must first understand, after you name what this divorce is going to look like and proceed, how it will affect the relationships around you. Take some time to consider the dynamics of the relationships you hold with friends and family. Your spouse’s family will certainly view you differently, and some friendships will fall apart. This is something you need to understand before you discuss your divorce with others. It will help you navigate the awkward, understanding, sad, and hostile reactions you will receive. For those with children, this is important for keeping your children feeling safe and loved, even if other friends or family become hostile towards you or your former spouse.

Offer Communication

You can move forward from this conversation in peace by offering ongoing communication. Don’t misunderstand, for some in your village this will never be peaceful. Others, though, will be happy to know the forthcoming changes will be communicated and this will ease tensions. This is also a nice way to close the conversation. Letting those around you know what’s happening, the terms, and that you will communicate as much as you can to help everyone as the divorce progresses, closes the conversation for the time being. We all know your own boundaries as the person experiencing the divorce are important, so finding a way to end the conversation needs to be on your terms without making others feel like you aren’t thinking of how the changes affect them.

With all the emotions those who are divorcing encounter, diplomacy with friends and family may seem too taxing. Taking the time and energy to decide what your divorce is and how it will function, discussing the parameters of it, and offering a dialogue to those affected can drastically reduce your own anxiety as well as those around you. If you have further questions about how to begin the process of divorce, or answer questions you may have before talking to your friends and family, contact us. It’s about to get better, and we’re here to help.