Life After Divorce: Single Parenthood

Life After Divorce: Single Parenthood

“What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger,” right? True. Yes. Trials in life build character and teach us important lessons.  It doesn’t negate the difficult or painful events in life, though. Divorcing with kids is one of the toughest things you’ll experience because you experience the divorce personally and you experience it through the feelings of your children. Single parenthood magnifies many of the everyday struggles people face while also adding new stress and worry. It can also have delightful moments that married life would not have allowed. 

 

Becoming both mom and dad, even if your ex is involved, is shouldering a burden that was  obviously meant to be shared. Parenting requires patience, love, discipline, rest, and laughter. Splitting these evenly when you are running on a few hours of sleep and worrying about the negative balance in your bank account seems superhuman. Who can really do all of this alone? You. You can, but alone is almost impossible. Your partner may be out of the picture, but you do have family and friends. Honestly, it may only come down to a few who are willing to get involved, but you only need a few loyal and helpful trustworthy people. 

 

You also need some kind of therapy. I know single parents who don’t have time for therapy, but they find ways to work on their issues and still grow and change and process, but I still recommend therapy, if you are able. An honest and balanced view of a professional helps you in ways your friends or your volunteer work cannot. Talk to someone. You deserve to make progress.

 

In the growing and the processing comes the ability to put your new knowledge into relationship with your children and yourself. As a single parent, you get to truly see the facets of your amazing offspring. You’ll see the flaws highlighted a little more, but you will also see the beauty and talent and love more because the removal of a spouse also means you gave more time to appreciate and focus on your children when you are with them. Take full advantage of this treasure.

 

Also, take full advantage of new time, however limited, to learn more about yourself. Reconnect with your old dreams and interests, but discover new interests and talents. You are worth the investment. 

 

Being “alone” is frightening and daunting—especially when the responsibility of parenting accompanies it. You have the strength, but don’t do it alone. Learn and grow with your children and enjoy the new family you develop. 

Divorce is difficult, but it will get better. We’re here to help.

 

Becoming both mom and dad, even if your ex is involved, is shouldering a burden that was  obviously meant to be shared. Parenting requires patience, love, discipline, rest, and laughter. Splitting these evenly when you are running on a few hours of sleep and worrying about the negative balance in your bank account seems superhuman. Who can really do all of this alone? You. You can, but alone is almost impossible. Your partner may be out of the picture, but you do have family and friends. Honestly, it may only come down to a few who are willing to get involved, but you only need a few loyal and helpful trustworthy people. 

 

You also need some kind of therapy. I know single parents who don’t have time for therapy, but they find ways to work on their issues and still grow and change and process, but I still recommend therapy, if you are able. An honest and balanced view of a professional helps you in ways your friends or your volunteer work cannot. Talk to someone. You deserve to make progress.

 

In the growing and the processing comes the ability to put your new knowledge into relationship with your children and yourself. As a single parent, you get to truly see the facets of your amazing offspring. You’ll see the flaws highlighted a little more, but you will also see the beauty and talent and love more because the removal of a spouse also means you gave more time to appreciate and focus on your children when you are with them. Take full advantage of this treasure.

 

Also, take full advantage of new time, however limited, to learn more about yourself. Reconnect with your old dreams and interests, but discover new interests and talents. You are worth the investment. 

 

Being “alone” is frightening and daunting—especially when the responsibility of parenting accompanies it. You have the strength, but don’t do it alone. Learn and grow with your children and enjoy the new family you develop. 

Divorce is difficult, but it will get better. We’re here to help.