Spring is blooming and singing in Arkansas. It is so green right now. The leaf buds transformed into little green leaves,the rains brought green lawns back from winter, but the cars are covered in the yellow dust of pollen. The days are gloriously golden. People are outside enjoying the season. Springtime is the promise of warmth and new life after the cold darkness of winter. For some, life after divorce is like winter, but you can experience new growth.
The truth is, you’ve always had the seeds of new growth in you. After a divorce you may experience grief and depression; you may spend time experimenting with new pastimes and interests; you may feel a little lost and numb. After these experiences subside, you will notice the sprout of hope or the sprout of an interest you thought you’d lost only to rediscover it after experimenting with your identity. You never really lost any of these things. They were there all along. Finding the direction your life will take after a divorce must first give way to a time where your life seems a little barren. Honestly, some people experience this before their divorce. These people experience the grief before the papers are signed and are those lucky few who seem to blossom almost immediately. Maybe their marriage was a time of barrenness, or they felt like they’d been slogging through an internal winter by avoiding the fact that their relationship was over. You can’t escape the growth that comes out of this place of, well, death, but you can look forward to your springtime.
Do not rush the process. Grief works differently for everyone. Trust in what is inside of you and do the work needed to bring about a fresh start. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Make new boundaries. Try new things. Go back to college. Start your dream business. Whatever you need to turn that bud into a blossom, do it, and when the clouds roll in and the rains fall--it’s what you need for growth. Make it your springtime because after spring is the fullness of summer.
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