Blech. Yes, the title is a downer, but we need to have this talk. According to numerous sites with some legit PhDs and MDs writing articles, the stress level of divorce is right up there next to the death of a spouse. With major stressors of grief, finances, future goals, and everyday life, depression is a major factor after divorce. So how do these educated and experienced experts suggest we cope? Here are some suggestions, you know, aside from (and in addition to) therapy:
Change your mindset
This is the work in the trenches, my brothers and sisters. Changing your thought life will vastly change your attitudes and outcomes, but the process is rough. The reason so many struggle with this is that in the midst of what seems like setbacks and sadness one must focus on the good. If you’ve been depressed or just sobbing into your ice cream whilst binging Netflix, you know your emotions put up a fight toward all the positive thinking gratitude needs. The result, however, is that it does change the way you think, and thus, experience life. After a divorce, you need to see the good and find ways to create a positive, flourishing life of your own. Changing how you view the world, yourself, and your future is essential.
Get a hobby
Change your mindset one thought at a time and your emotions will follow, but you need to occupy your mind as well. One article suggested knitting. Not everyone wants to knit. But I see where the repetition can keep the mind occupied from meditating on the divorce and all that follows that absolute train wreck of thought-happiness.The point is, find something that is beneficial and occupies your mind and time. Exercise not only builds confidence, but is part of the self-care you desperately need. Maybe you don’t learn to knit, but you do lift weights or practice yoga in a class, or you do both.
There are other more specific ways to cope after your divorce, but these cover two major and life-altering aspects of said coping. Changing the way you think and occupying your mind and body will begin to turn your entire worldview around while building your confidence and your future.
It’s about to get better. We’re here to help.