- Written by Kevin Hickey
I ran across an article published in 2014 by Psychology Today about ways to ease your stress in divorce and steps to take to strengthen you and your children through divorce. I am always curious to read a different perspective such as a psychologist about divorce rather than from my legal point of view. I will have to say that they were spot on with their advice and it is often the same advice I give my clients. Divorce is a big deal. When a spouse chooses to file for divorce, it is one of the biggest life decisions that is made, because it affects you, any children from the marriage, extended family, finances, emotions, spirituality, social circles, you name it, divorce will have an impact on all areas of life. Hiring the right attorney with years of experience and knowledge in family law coupled with this practical advice will ease your stress and help make a smoother transition into your new life.
- The first thing you should do is to hire a professional, experienced attorney such as Kevin Hickey Law Partners, that will approach your case with the sensitivity and compassion it deserves. Knowing your legal rights to protect your interests as well as those of your children will help to ease your stress. It is often the world of the unknown that makes situations more stressful than they should be.
- Let go of negativity, starting with your feelings. Divorce and major life changes are certainly emotional times and it is only human nature to become negative about these changes, especially if they are not by choice. Psychology Today recommends identifying and acknowledging what you are feeling and to make a plan to work through those negative feelings, because “bottled up negative emotions are time bombs.” You need to allow your children to do the same and realize that they are going to act out. Confront them and discuss that what they are feeling is normal. It may be necessary to hire a therapist to help you and your children work through these feelings.
- Take a break from the immediate divorce worry and take care of yourself. Taking time for self-care is very important. Doing things that make you feel happy and refreshed like getting a massage, taking your kids bowling, get a manicure and pedicure, go out for ice cream, anything that will let you and your kids escape for a bit. Check out this self-care benefits blog. Looking at this from a legal perspective, of course, always use common sense, don’t take your kids out of state without consent from your soon-to-be ex and don’t do anything that could hurt your case.
- Take time to breathe, literally. Stopping for a moment or two during the day to close your eyes and do deep breathing will calm the body and mind. Slowly inhale while envisioning good and positive things and slowing exhale releasing non-useful toxic energy. Practicing this daily will help you tackle stressful situations beyond the divorce. A great app to help you is Simple Habit. It has many free options available.
- Get plenty of rest and don’t skip meals. Lack of sleep can cause you to be irritable and affect sound decisions. Cooking a good meal is probably the last thing on your list, but it is important to eat nutritiously and fuel your body properly. This is especially important if you have children, keeping their life as normal as possible is imperative. As hard as it may be, get plenty of sleep and nutrition to assure that you are working on all cylinders.
- Develop a friend circle that you can count on to support you emotionally. Married couples often have mutual friends and some of those friendships you have established, unfortunately, will pick sides and it may not be your side. Be prepared for that, find friends that you can lean on during this time.
- One final piece of advice, it’s okay to allow yourself to start over and embrace fresh beginnings. It may seem impossible now, but you will have a new life full of opportunities if you allow it.
To read the full article from Psychology Today, click here. Let Kevin Hickey Law Partners put our years of family law experience to work for you. We have seen it all and will offer you advice on how to best handle your unique situation. Don’t delay, call today.